We all parent differently, but one variable is pretty standard: we all feed our children. From the first breath, that little one lets us know he is starving. The root cause of that demanding cry is non-negotiable, physical hunger.
But there’s more than one kind of hunger. From the time they are born, a child doesn’t just crave food that fills up an empty stomach, but she also needs something to satisfy the soul.
Food for the Body
Grocery Store Caravan
First, let’s talk about the kind of food you put on a plate. Because I am the mother of a big family, the grocery store is like a second home to me. When my children were still too young to stay at home by themselves, I would pile them into the grocery cart, grab another cart for the food, and creep through the store with my awkward caravan.
My youngest child is ten now, and I often get to go to the store by myself. Driving solo in a quiet vehicle and browsing at leisure is the closest I come to visiting a spa…but back to the topic at hand.
Food Rollercoaster
I’m not a foodie but I like to eat and I obviously have people depending on me. Our meals have changed over the years. It makes me smile (and roll my eyes a little) to remember the healthy food trends we have followed. Through the ups and downs of all-raw fare, daily carrot juice, and grainy brown sugar substitutes, I hope one thing we have learned is balance. These days, meals at our house are usually balanced, mostly healthy and pretty simple.
Mostly Healthy
Years ago, my husband pointed to the salad on his plate and told our young children, This is food that will make you strong. Strong food. Then, he’d point to a piece of candy. That will make you weak. It’s weak food. After the children walked around pointing at food and asking, Is that weak? we had to teach diplomacy and kindness. Grandmas don’t like it when you point to their rhubarb pie and ask such things.
Back in those strong food/weak food days, you wouldn’t find white sugar in our pantry, but times have changed. Still, it’s our goal to serve consistently healthy food and shun sugary treats as often as possible.
Sugar can sneak into baby formulas… make sure your baby formula choice is among the best and healthiest.
Pretty Simple
Our meals are simple. I don’t follow many recipes, though I did when I was still learning to cook. I am an improviser, using what I have in the pantry and creating edible concoctions with leftovers. There are two things I have learned about leftovers:
If you give it a snazzy name, it makes all the difference.
A sprinkle or two of extra cheese makes everything new.
Some of my infamous leftover inventions sported names like:
- Nickelodeon Hash: rice, bits of leftover meat, chopped broccoli bits & cheese.
- Poverty in a Pan: this was named by my oldest daughter, when finances were tight. It featured: scrambled eggs, rice, assorted vegetables and probably cheese.
- Pancake Casserole: This dish is simply torn up, leftover pancakes mixed with syrup, butter and flaked coconut. No cheese.
These days, I still cook simply and I still recycle leftovers — when I have them. Since I now have four teenagers and some young adults living in the home, we don’t have a regular abundance of leftovers.
Re-use leftovers by making healthy baby food with the best baby food makers.
Food for the Soul
The other kind of food is soul food. No, I’m not talking about fried chicken. I’m talking about substance that satisfies the craving to be enriched, valued, and motivated. This includes the practices of: listening, affirmation, and inspiration.
Listening
Listening with eyes on a child says I love you. Listening is key to connecting, understanding and knowing another person, but it can be challenging to listen to a lengthy dream or an unending summary. Most of us think we are pretty good listeners, but a recent book I read called The Lost Art of Listening made me realize I have room for improvement. When we listen to our children, we see into their hearts, we affirm their value and we strengthen the parent/child bond. If you struggle in this area, take heart — there’s still time.
Listening Quote
Listen earnestly to anything [your children] want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff. — Catherine Wallace
Listening Tip
If you have one of those dreamer-teller-types, encourage them to occasionally write it down, instead of tell it aloud. (In our house, spelling doesn’t matter on the first draft.) Sometimes I take one of their dream stories, type it out, and let them illustrate it.
Affirmation
As much as I enjoy personal affirmation, I have not mastered giving it generously away to others. Why do I hold back? Just like food, it’s something people crave, although it is received in different ways. I was recently awakened to the need for affirming my children more through a book called: Practicing Affirmation. Reading the book prompted me to try to commend the commendable when I see it in my children.
Affirmation Ideas
This faith-based book also gave 100 examples of ways to affirm another person. Here are a few I tweaked from the book:
- Post your child’s schoolwork and praise a connected trait: You were thorough/creative/detailed in your work here.
- Praise a character quality they displayed recently: I saw how attentive you were when Grandpa was talking.
- Positively compare your child to a valued person in their life: You remind me of your dad, the way you’re always so careful to clean up your tools.
Inspiration
Someone said hope is food for the soul. Everyone holds hope for the future — children included. Right now, that might look like a drive to be a superhero, or beautiful, popular and talented.
How do we inspire our children and point them to true greatness? Here are three ways:
Be a worthy example.
Children are mirrors. If you want them to be grateful, be the parent who always says thank you. They will copy you, even (and especially) when you’re not looking.
Teach them truth.
My husband meets regularly with our children to teach truth to them. At our house, it looks like this: he reads timeless and powerful lessons from the Bible, opens up their meaning, and discusses how these truths can be applied to their daily lives. They say that the best way to combat counterfeit is by making the truth so familiar we won’t be gullible when faced with a sneaky fake.
Read inspiring books.
Books that inspire can be books about real-life heroes, or courageous fictional characters. This includes home read-alouds and car trips almost always include audiobooks. Some of our favorites include: Little Pilgrim’s Progress, Rifles for Watie, Treasures of the Snow, Pollyanna, and Amos Fortune: Free Man.
Wrap Up
That’s enough food for now. Do you feel like you’ve traveled in an awkward caravan, through a packed grocery store, with a stuffed cart and no money to pay? If you feel discouraged, please don’t. It’s never too late and today is the perfect day to start your children on a nourishing, lifelong diet.
Images: Unsplash
