This experienced mommy has been navigating the waters of a surprise third pregnancy, and I’m here to give you all the info about carrying baby #3 that no one else will – the good, the bad, and everything in between.
I think other third time moms are too tired to tell you the truth, so they just say “Oh, a third pregnancy is fine. It’s not a big deal.”
But guess what?! It is a huge deal!
Here’s what I’ve learned from baby #3, so that you can learn and grow from this pregnancy, too.
Without further ado: 11 crazy and funny things about your 3rd pregnancy that no one wants to talk about.
#1: The doctor quits talking to you
I was not prepared for this one! When I got pregnant with my first child, that initial pregnancy confirmation appointment was sooooo looooong. They explained everything and gave me a novel of paperwork. With the second baby 4 years later, it was still a pretty lengthy appointment, because they felt the need to remind me of everything.
Now, with baby number 3, my doctor’s appointments go a little bit like this: Yep, you’re still pregnant. Any signs of labor or impending doom? Nope? See you next month.
I don’t think it’s because the doctor doesn’t care, I think it’s because he trusts you as a mom.
I also think it’s because while each pregnancy is different, they’re also a lot alike. For example, that glucose tolerance test drink does not get any better. Your hips and back and neck and legs and feet don’t hurt any less, and all those other weird symptoms come and go, too.
#2: Other people have 3x the opinions now
While your doctor might be mum, others aren’t. You’d think that others would start trusting your mom intuition by the third baby, right? Wrong. They will tell you all the opinions they have, such as:
- Whether or not you should have had that third baby
- How you probably can’t afford a third baby
- How you are contributing to the overpopulation of the planet
- The ways in which your current kids will be neglected
- The amount of sleep you’ll be losing for the next 18 years
- And the most random things, like “Oh, well now your whole family can’t sit at a restaurant booth eating out is going to be a pain for you.”
So to recap: you’ll get opinions about your first kid, your second kid, your third kid, and now all of your life choices in general are up for questioning and criticism.
#3: You are FREAKING TIRED
You were tired with pregnancy #2, right? Let me tell you right now that you don’t even know what tired is.
When that third pregnancy hits, you are deep in the throws of taking care of 2 older kids. It doesn’t matter what the age gap between your other two is, you are already busy. And your poor body is older and more worn down now than it was then. The result is sheer exhaustion.
And you just have to power through it. You have small people (and probably a big person or two) depending on you.
#4: Your kids don’t care much…or do they?
When you let your kids know that baby #3 is on the way, they might be excited or they might not. My older son said cool and walked off to build some legos. My almost-2-year-old daughter had zero clue what was happening. Now, at the end of the pregnancy, my son likes to giggle at my fat belly and my daughter likes to give it hugs and tell it hi.
For the most part though, they don’t seem to notice or care much that another child is going to be soon gracing our family.
Here’s one fun thing I noticed though: your older children regressing during pregnancy is a real thing.
It’s probably because they can’t exactly express all their tiny little emotions, but they find other ways to act out. My daughter suddenly decided that sleeping was not for her and would refuse to fall asleep and stay asleep (aka hardcore sleep regression). My son began telling fibs to get attention on the daily. Maybe it’s coincidental timing that has more to do with their age than with the pregnancy, but I can tell you that my kids found passive ways to steal our attention away from the growing bump.
#5: Your spouse is convinced that you’ve got this
You ain’t no rookie anymore, and your husband knows it! So while his confidence in you is great, it’s also kind of a downer. Because he doesn’t think you need help. Sure, he still asks how you are to make sure you aren’t on the verge of death, but he’s gonna let you tackle the kids and the chores just like you always do.
And you almost can’t say anything, because with 2 kids and jobs and school fundraisers and sports and life in general, you know that he is hovering on the edge of exhaustion, too.
Still, play that pregnancy card while you got it, mamma! Remember that nothing is hotter than watching your husband do dishes.
#6: Help is harder to find
This one was unexpected. I thought that people would see me, a part-time working mom with 2 young kids, and jump in to help when they found out I was pregnant. And boy, was I wrong.
With my second pregnancy, people were so willing to take my son so that I could rest. Now, they look at my son and my daughter, tell me I should be resting more, and go on their merry way. I think a lot of people look at 2 kids and think, “that’s a lot of work… I’ll pass.” And so they don’t offer to help.
And I can’t say that I blame them – it’s no walk in the park to take care of a 2-year-old and a 6-year-old for longer than 10 minutes.
#7: Your patience is non-existent
The third pregnancy brings plenty of opportunities to flip your lid and punch people in the throat (in your mind, of course). That’s because your patience is gone. I’m talking totally shot, non-existent. It doesn’t matter if it’s your kids, your husband, your friends, your family, or a well-meaning stranger. You just don’t have time for people’s shenanigans!
Doesn’t everyone know that you are a busy, exhausted mom to be with stuff to do and a very hopeful nap to maybe take!? Well, no, they don’t know that. But you think they should.
#8: All clothes, even maternity clothes, totally suck
Maybe this is a silly thing, but I was so disappointed that my regular clothes couldn’t cut it anymore. With both of my first two pregnancies, I was able to squeeze into regular clothes up into the second trimester. Now, I swear my body was like Oh, we’re pregnant? Say no more, we’ll fatten right up and move around. I was wearing maternity pants by week 10!
But that’s not where it stops. By the third trimester, even the once-comfortable solace of maternity pants was fading. Now, at the very end, the thought of any kind of pants makes me want to cry. And forget about maternity jeans; they’re death traps for your legs.
#9: All pregnancy rules go out the window
Think back to the first pregnancy. I bet you didn’t eat that blue cheese on your salad and you only laid on your left side to sleep. Even for your second pregnancy, I bet you followed those pregnancy rules pretty closely.
I am here to tell you that all that need not apply for pregnancy number three. Here’s the stuff that I’ve determined is totally fine for pregnancy:
- Painting your nails
- Coloring your hair
- Eating basically anything you want, including blue cheese and lunch meat and fish
- Laying in any position that doesn’t make you want to cry from discomfort
- Playing around with and lifting your kids
- Working out and lifting weights (yup, even those awesome HIIT workouts you’ve always done)
- DRINKING COFFEE OR TEA OR SODA to get you through your day
#10: Plans? What plans?
Cherish the carefully constructed life plans and birth plans of your past, because they’re gone now. After all, you are about to have 3 kids, so we all know that you pretty much aren’t even in charge anymore. You’re just here to coordinate the chaos.
Here’s your birth plan: Get this baby out!
Here’s your new life plan: Survive and hopefully thrive (at some point in the distant future).
#11: You are irrationally happy
If I’ve made the third pregnancy sound like a hot mess, then good. Because it is. But guess what? It’s your hot mess, and you wouldn’t trade it for anything!
Despite the comments, the terrible responsibility of having to wear clothes, your family having to fend for themselves, and the guilty cup(s) of daily coffee that you need in order to survive, you are all-out joyful.
You are growing a new life, and that life is intentional! That baby has a purpose, and so do you, mom! And the realization of that fact results in nothing but deep-down, soul-crushing joy.
So laugh in the chaos, embrace that baby and all it brings, and revel in the happiness and weirdness that is pregnancy #3.
