Tying shoes is something that we struggled with for a while in my house. Last year, my then 6-year old was very resistant to tying shoes. It wasn’t even that he was trying and failing- he just had no interest in wanting to learn. Fortunately, we both learned a little since then. Below, you’ll find some advice on how to teach a kid to tie shoes, regardless of how willing they are to learn.
Show Them
It’s easier to show children how to do something because it’s likely been quite some time since you thought about how to tie your shoes. For most adults, tying shoes is something you’ve been doing so long you don’t even think about it. Describing the steps to your child might be a challenge, especially since your child is just learning all the skills they need to tie their own shoes.
Instead of describing the steps, show your child how to tie their shoes. Most kids learn better visually and by doing than through description anyway. This is because they have limited experience with the world, so they may not always understand what you are trying to tell them to do.
If You Do Explain, Be Specific
A problem when explaining how to tie your shoes to a child is that they don’t always have the vocabulary or the dexterity to do what is being asked of them. For example, it’s not enough to tell your child to make a loop. Chances are, your five-year-old isn’t yet sure how to make a loop unless they have been tying knots or something. Instead, you’d need to instruct them to fold the shoestring over about 1/3 of the way down (and show them where 1/3 is on the string). Then, pinch the end to make the loop and it should still have a tail hanging off the end. It can be very helpful to help your child make the loop as you explain, too.
Guide Your Child’s Hands
One of the biggest mistakes I made when trying to teach my son to tie his shoes at first was sitting across from him and showing him the motions. When your child is looking across at you, it’s like looking at a mirror. Their hands are flipped and even though they are doing similar motions, it’s harder for them to follow along while they move their own fingers.
Instead, sit behind your child and take their hands in your own. Use them to guide your child as they tie their shoes. This is much more effective than having them watch you and then try it themselves. It also gives you a chance to help your child with the coordination of their fingers as they tie their shoes.
Put the Shoes on the Table
If your child’s shoe is on their foot, they have to bend down to tie them. This requires an extra step and your child has to tie their shoe at a different angle than they would when looking at it straight on. For this reason, it’s sometimes easier to set your child’s shoes in front of them at eye level while they practice tying them.
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Stay Enthusiastic
One of the biggest struggles when teaching my son how to tie his shoes was that he easily became frustrated. He is a kid that learns a lot of things quickly. While that’s helpful for learning new skills, it also means he gets easily frustrated when he doesn’t pick up on something right away.
Remember that learning to tie shoes is a process. You should be enthusiastic about every part of the process that your child gets right. Even if they can only cross their shoestrings, it’s a small step in the right direction. Talk to them in an excited voice as they learn and keep the learning process upbeat.
It’s also important to remember to put any frustration you may have aside. Your child will take subtle cues from you and sense that frustration. It’s best to pause and try again later if you (or your child) need a break, instead.
Be Sure the Shoe Strings are Flexible
Something else that is important is making sure you choose shoe strings that are soft and easy to bend. If your child’s shoe strings are stiff, then it will be harder for them to shape the loops and bend the laces so they can tie their shoes. You can either buy a softer shoelace or re-lace your child’s shoes with an older, more worn pair of shoelaces. While you don’t want them so frayed that they are hard to work with, slightly broken-in shoelaces are softer.
Mark the Shoe Strings
Something else that is really helpful for kids is marking the shoestrings where your child needs to fold them using a pen or marker. By marking the shoestrings, you’re taking a little of the guesswork out of tying shoes. This is one less thing that your child has to remember, so they can focus a little more on doing each of the steps.
Offer an Incentive
Kids love working toward a goal and they love prizes. Something that might help is offering a small (or big) reward for when your child learns to tie their shoes. You can buy them a new pair of lace-up shoes if they’d like. If your child doesn’t need shoes, another good incentive might be a pair of shoelaces that glow in the dark or that are your child’s favorite color. With an incentive, your child can keep looking forward and possibly overcome some frustration they are having with tying their shoes.
Be Prepared with a Backup Plan
One of the most popular methods on how to teach a kid to tie shoes is the “bunny ear” method. Of course, there is more than one way to tie a shoe. If one way doesn’t take, don’t be afraid to try something new with your child. It can be an even bigger bonus if it’s a method of tying shoes that you haven’t tried yet either. Find a video tutorial and guide your child’s hands as you follow along with the instructions. This way, you are both learning something new together and your child won’t feel so alone.
FAQs – How to Teach a Kid to Tie Shoes
When should I teach my child to tie their shoes?
For most kids, learning to tie their own shoes is part of learning self-care around age five. It’s this time when your child will also be learning things like how to button their pants, do clasps, and use zippers. While some kids might catch on sooner, most children do not have the hand-eye coordination or focus to learn how to tie their shoes until they are at least five. You shouldn’t fret if your child doesn’t learn right away- some kids don’t learn until they are seven or even eight years old.
What skills are needed for a child to tie their shoes?
One of the reasons children don’t learn shoes until they are five or older is because it requires a lot of different skills. While it might seem like a simple motion to an adult, this is because adults have been tying their shoes most of their lives. They have the muscle memory and coordination to tie their shoe in seconds.
The skills needed for a child to tie their shoes include finger isolation, bilateral hand coordination (using both hands at once for different tasks), hand-eye coordination, finger strength, and visual perceptual skills. Don’t fret if your child doesn’t learn right away. Like any skill, it will develop with time and a little bit of practice.
Is it important for my child to learn to tie their shoes?
Many kid’s shoes have Velcro or zippers, making it easier for your child to get in their shoes. Even so, your child learning to tie his or her shoes is a developmental milestone. It helps them learn independence and how to do something on their own. Additionally, if your child is able to tie their shoes, it makes it easier to buy shoes for them. They have more options and if they do wear shoes with laces to school, then they’ll be able to tie their shoes if they come untied during the day. This helps with safety, especially since an untied shoelace can easily make the trip.
Final Word
These strategies on how to teach a kid to tie shoes will have your little one tying their shoes in no time. By the time they are five or six, it’s usually a good time to start practicing. Don’t worry if it takes your child a while to catch on- tying shoes requires a lot of different skills and can take some time. Best of luck!
